Shift is happening

I’m honestly a little saddened by the shifts in interactions between people. We are in this stage of growth where you are not a child anymore but not an adult either. Let me explain what I mean.

As I experience the whirlwind we are currently wrapped into, I realize that we are heading to an incredible era. We are becoming more aware of the capacity we have to communicate instantaneously and, who knows, we might reach telepathy at a large scale very soon.

My sadness comes from trying to adjust to it, I guess. I notice how people’s attention span is getting shorter. We are no longer satisfied with fast information; we want it faster, more variety, and in a constant influx. Not that this is bad; in some way we are expanding the capacity of the brain to absorb more information; however the quality of information is not necessarily all that good for our brain development and the speed is teaching us a different way of connecting with others.

I watch people shifting from task to task within seconds. This could be called multi-tasking, ADHD or just simply short attention span. By the way, none of these adjectives are meant in a negative way. I know of many highly successful business people who fit these characteristics perfectly and I believe that the mastering of these qualities is what contributed to their success.

What I see developing is a way of communication that requires shorter, faster, more exciting and engaging messages that keep the audiences hooked for at least six seconds. Then shift to another message or task. Squirrel! Then shift again.

I’m saddened because I noticed that this is transferring to the way we talk to each other in our daily lives and I’m not used to it. I can see it on TV, Internet and the way people talk to each other; we interrupt, we don’t completely listen to each other’s arguments or opinions, we shift to the next, more exciting topic and we lose track of what the other person was saying.

I’m trying to adjust to all of these and see the positive side because there is no going back, we are already well on our way. Perhaps we’ll start connecting less through words and more through wavelengths, instinctual feelings, or telepathically. I hope to be alive to witness it if that’s the case.

What I wish is more of a heart connection.

I can see how the social networks and other mediums of communication are allowing people to connect to more people, even strangers, or perhaps is encouraging more isolation since people are glued to their electronics, I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that people are reaching out further, expressing themselves more openly, and opening their minds and hearts to others around the planet.

I believe that if we get to connect to our hearts through whatever way it works, art, music, blogs, laughter, social networks, etc, then we are evolving towards a more fulfilling and integrative lifestyle that might benefit us all.

Those are my thoughts. I intent to continuously adapt, evolve, accept and grow from every experience and enjoy the miracle of life.

Until the next blog.

I'm invisible today

As I'm driving around I'm noticing people not noticing me. And I'm not talking about the narcissistic-need-to-be-seen point of view but the driving-towards-me-and-almost-hitting-me point of view. It happened so many times that I thought I must be invisible today.
Then I noticed that it's not just me who is invisible, we are all invisible to each other.
It saddens me to see people living life mindlessly, going about without really noticing what's around them, not slowing down enough to smell the roses.
Our minds are so filled with worry and incessant chatter that we walk around like zombies, missing life entirely.
Flowers blooming, birds chirping, children laughing, wind blowing, and people passing are all completely ignored as we go about our lives mindlessly.
When did we become so disconnected? Is this how we learned to cope with life challenges?
I think sometimes we get so used to worrying that it becomes a way of living and we forget to do something else.
When we worry we don't allow room for anything else in our minds and lives. There is no room even for solutions or opportunities because we are closed up, we are not present, we are not connected.

I invite you to look around and notice, without judgment, just notice. Maybe an opportunity will present itself or maybe you'll just enjoy the moment for what it is.
Noticing you,
Nancy

Lessons I learned from a surfer

Many times problems arise like huge waves in the ocean.
Sometimes we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, drowning and with no life vest, surf board or anything to hold us up. Problems keep coming like waves, crashing and sinking us further down, while the sharks lurk around waiting for the opportunity to attack. It can seem hopeless to try to stay afloat and the thought of giving up might come to mind.
Some might self-medicate, which is like finding a board floating nearby and holding on to it to stay above water, yet these temporary solutions do not get us anywhere near the shore nor teach us how to handle problems effectively.
Some are satisfied with  just holding on to the board as long as the waves don't get big. Some hope that life doesn't change so they don't have to change.
But it is impossible to live life without facing challenges. An ocean without waves is not an ocean.
The way to live life is not holding on to a little board hoping it'll be enough to keep us afloat. The way to live life is by learning how to face those challenges and see them as opportunities instead, learn to surf them.

The following are some lessons I learned from a surfer:

• Surfers never give their backs to the ocean. We face our problems, not ignore them. Surfers show the ocean respect and reasonable caution as we should when we are facing a problem needed to be resolved. 
• Surfers learn to read the waves, predict their patterns. We need to learn our own patterns of behaviors, our common reactions to events and situations and change the ones that don't serve us.
• Surfers avoid surfing after a storm. We have to get to know ourselves and our own vulnerabilities. If we are tired, hungry or with little sleep we are not going to be as effective managing situations as if we were in balance and taking care of ourselves.  
• Surfers learn which waves to ride and which ones to go under and let pass. Problems can be seen as opportunities for growth and expansion, or they can teach us humility and compassion. 
• Surfers get back up if they are thrown off. It's not about setting unattainable expectations and think that we can master every issue but maintaining hope and perseverance.
• Surfers want the big waves because they give them the best chances to go through the tube. Problems that seem big can be excellent opportunities to look within and explore our inner strengths as well as our limiting beliefs. When we go within, we can find that peace surfers experience when they are in the tube.
• Surfers wait patiently and enjoy their communion with nature. We need to take time for ourselves, to recharge our batteries and be around nature.
• Real surfers respect each other and respect the environment. We must do the same, starting with respecting and honoring ourselves, saying no when we mean no and yes when we mean yes. Resting when we are tired and eating when we are hungry. Respecting ourselves and each other.
• Surfers are in the present moment, being aware and trusting their instincts. There is not point on dwelling in the past or worrying about the future that we cannot be changed. The only time is the present and is the best time to be in, experiencing life just as it is, accepting it radically. 

I am grateful for all the simple lessons I learned from a surfer. It made so much sense to me how their approach to the ocean can related to life in general.

Next big wave comes, let's paddle into it and come out saying, "that was some gnarly swell, dude!".

Why should I go to counseling?

Have you ever felt like you need someone to talk to; someone impartial who can understand your point of view and support you? Someone who can give you objective and helpful feedback to help you grow and get unstuck? 

Sure, a friend can do that yet your friend might not be able to be as objective as you need or might side with you just to try to make you feel better. 

Your friend might not know how to give you honest feedback that will help you identify the pattern that keeps you stuck.

A counselor is someone you can talk to without feeling like you have to be careful about what you say. 
A good counselor is someone who won’t judge you or make you feel bad; someone who you don’t have to see everyday or hang out with. 
A counselor is like a webpage you consult for information but is personalized and tailored to your specific issue. 
Sure, you can read a magazine or a blog about people with similar problems and what they did to resolve it but everybody is different and their solution might not work for you. 
The beauty of seeing a counselor is that you can go to him or her for a few sessions until the issue is resolved and not go back until you are facing another challenge or need a “tune-up”.  You can find one in every city and you can choose the one that fits your values and preferences best. 


Can you go through life without a counselor? Sure, a lot of people do. 
Some people’s lives are simpler than others. However, some people prefer to have a guide that can show them the shortcuts, make life easier and more joyful, and coach them through the challenges. 
A counselor can give you perspective and help you see the entire picture. 
Everybody needs a counselor. 
Imagine that you are going through some tough times and can't seem to find your way out. You go see someone that cares for you and who helps you put it all in perspective and shows you how to fix it. Someone who will be there if you need to get a new tool or encounter a roadblock; who really knows you, not the face you show the world but the real you. Someone who will give you tools so you can figure out on your own next time and keep on growing; who is not trying to change you but accepts you for who you are and works with you in making your life happier.


And best of all, a counselor won't tell the world about your fears or insecurities but will create a safe space where you can be yourself. 

I think I turned into an alien

It was Tuesday morning.
I woke up around 6:15am as usual (not my choice) and got ready. It seemed like it was going to be another cold day as the fog darkened the skies.
Keys, purse, agenda and myself ready, I walked to my car and set off to my daily routine.
I hadn't driven much when all of the sudden something changed.

My attention shifted from the speedometer and the road to something beyond that. My eyes began capturing the beauty of the sunlight shining through the fog as the trees glistened and sparkled from the morning dew. The leaves were painted golden and brown and the air smelled fresh and moist. A smile grew on my face as I admired the majestic beauty of this earth. My curiosity grew every mile I drove.
Have I not seen this before? Have I not driven this way every day for at least 6 months? Why did everything seem so new and fresh?

I think I turned into an alien.

I could not recognize the planet I was seeing. It was as if everything was new and I was seeing the earth for the first time. The simplest things caught my attention as I marveled at the perfection of creation. Was my car really moving or was my car still and the other cars moving around me? When did we begin building roads?
How beautiful are the drops of water at the tips of the trees! How lucky we are to be alive!

More and more I'm experiencing life as if I was from another planet. It is a beautiful thing. It's hard to explain but the feeling is like this is going to be my last time in this earth and I have the chance to experience it fully and take with me amazing memories.

I extend an invitation to turn into an alien too. Let me know how it feels. Perhaps it might not be the trees or the freeway you admire but perhaps the food you eat or the people you encounter. Enjoy it like a brand-new experience without judgments or labels. It's amazing.

I'm so grateful to be in this planet...

Nancy

A day in silence

Spending an entire day in silence is not as easy as it seems yet is the easiest way to stay in the present and be mindful. I know for many people being in silence is not something out of the ordinary, but this is not just about being quiet or not talking to people, it's about being completely aware.
My day was spent like any normal day, even though I wished I was in a remote area where I could hear only the birds and and the wind sing. I decided to carry a little piece of paper with the words "I'm taking a day for silence" for the people that I would inevitably encounter along the way. The funny thing was, every time I showed someone that piece of paper, they began whispering or they would stop talking too as if to wanting to match my silence. I hope I inspired them to take sometime in silence too.
So many times I caught myself about to speak without really thinking. Like when we greet someone and ask automatically, "How are you?" I realized that I'm not taking the time to wait for the answer, not because I don't care but because I imagine there will be a time in the future when I'll be able to sit down and really get to know the person. If only...
I also realized that my smile and non-verbal words can communicate more than simple words. When I did not carry that piece of paper with me, I resorted to nodding and smiling. It seemed to do the trick.
Many times I felt like I cheated when I used other forms of communication such as texting or signs to speak what I was thinking. What was the purpose of this day of silence then?
I wanted to become more aware of my thoughts (hence the blog) and I wanted to find that inner peace in the midst of chaos. Perhaps I needed to go to a remote area away from interruptions and noise so I'm not distracted. Or perhaps I just needed to go within.
It is so useful to communicate through words yet it is so easy to say things we don't mean, say things without thinking. I learned a few things along the way.
I learned that I can be more patient and less attached when I cannot say what I think as easily.
I learned how easy it is to forget to be mindful and how easy it is to react to things.
I learned that it takes a lot of focus and energy to be constantly aware of thoughts and actions.
I learned how much words can connect us or disconnect us from people.
Next time I'll try it for a longer period of time. It was interesting to watch people's reactions and it was fascinating how much more I was able to learn from the silence.
In silence and presence,
Nancy

It's easy to have hope when things are going well...

When things are going smoothly is easy to trust and have hope. The challenge comes when there is struggle.
It is difficult to feel hope, peace and trust when we are faced with problems, losses and pain. Fear may take over and paralyze us. Or we may go into despair or anger and not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
What to do in these situations?
Ideally we should stay calm and centered in the middle of a tornado. No matter what happens outside of us, we should be able to remain calm on the inside.
Easier said than done, right? 
How can we remain calm when our world in crumbling around us and we see no way out? How can we be centered when we have no way to change the situation or feeling?
One word:     HOPE
Hope is what keeps us going, what keeps us fighting despite the losses, what keeps us moving when we feel exhausted.

Sri Chinmoy, a spiritual teacher and poet, wrote:

"Life without hope

Is no life at all.

 

Hope passes beyond,

Far beyond,

The abyss of despair.

Our hopes

Should be as deep

As the Pacific Ocean.

Hope    

Is not just a word.   

Hope    

Is today's beautiful plant.    

Hope    

Is tomorrow's fruitful tree.

 

Hope is not a momentary flicker.  

Hope is Eternity's slow, steady,

Illumining and fulfilling height.

 

O hope, you are my treasure dear 

Of a long century.    

Because of you I see not the fear    

Of stark penury."

When we turn to hope, we can remove ourselves momentarily from the painful situation and become an observant. When we feel hope, we analyze the reason for the struggle, the meaning of the pain and the patterns of unconscious reactions. When we feel hope, we find the light at the end of the tunnel and walk towards it, knowing that there must be a reason for this challenge, a lesson to be learned or a skill to be gained. When we feel hope, we strengthen our faith and override negativity and helplessness.

Hope allows us to be conscious and aware as we explore the roots of our discomfort and try to find a way out. And sometimes there is no way out but through. Sometimes there is no way out but surrender.

Hope allows us to stop resisting and fighting so we can become more mindful of the present moment and what we are creating for ourselves. Is it possible to feel hope in the midsts of struggle and pain? I have seen it happen. It takes commitment to one self to observe curiously what is happening inside of us and to allow it to be. It takes courage to go inside and find the light. It takes strength to bring out the hope and light and not become overwhelmed by the chaos around us.

It is easy to be hopeful and excited about life when things go well, but it makes us grow as humans and as spiritual beings when we learn from our challenges, find our inner strength and cultivate hope for ourselves and the world.

In hope and love for all,

Nancy