I'm invisible today

As I'm driving around I'm noticing people not noticing me. And I'm not talking about the narcissistic-need-to-be-seen point of view but the driving-towards-me-and-almost-hitting-me point of view. It happened so many times that I thought I must be invisible today.
Then I noticed that it's not just me who is invisible, we are all invisible to each other.
It saddens me to see people living life mindlessly, going about without really noticing what's around them, not slowing down enough to smell the roses.
Our minds are so filled with worry and incessant chatter that we walk around like zombies, missing life entirely.
Flowers blooming, birds chirping, children laughing, wind blowing, and people passing are all completely ignored as we go about our lives mindlessly.
When did we become so disconnected? Is this how we learned to cope with life challenges?
I think sometimes we get so used to worrying that it becomes a way of living and we forget to do something else.
When we worry we don't allow room for anything else in our minds and lives. There is no room even for solutions or opportunities because we are closed up, we are not present, we are not connected.

I invite you to look around and notice, without judgment, just notice. Maybe an opportunity will present itself or maybe you'll just enjoy the moment for what it is.
Noticing you,
Nancy

Lessons I learned from a surfer

Many times problems arise like huge waves in the ocean.
Sometimes we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, drowning and with no life vest, surf board or anything to hold us up. Problems keep coming like waves, crashing and sinking us further down, while the sharks lurk around waiting for the opportunity to attack. It can seem hopeless to try to stay afloat and the thought of giving up might come to mind.
Some might self-medicate, which is like finding a board floating nearby and holding on to it to stay above water, yet these temporary solutions do not get us anywhere near the shore nor teach us how to handle problems effectively.
Some are satisfied with  just holding on to the board as long as the waves don't get big. Some hope that life doesn't change so they don't have to change.
But it is impossible to live life without facing challenges. An ocean without waves is not an ocean.
The way to live life is not holding on to a little board hoping it'll be enough to keep us afloat. The way to live life is by learning how to face those challenges and see them as opportunities instead, learn to surf them.

The following are some lessons I learned from a surfer:

• Surfers never give their backs to the ocean. We face our problems, not ignore them. Surfers show the ocean respect and reasonable caution as we should when we are facing a problem needed to be resolved. 
• Surfers learn to read the waves, predict their patterns. We need to learn our own patterns of behaviors, our common reactions to events and situations and change the ones that don't serve us.
• Surfers avoid surfing after a storm. We have to get to know ourselves and our own vulnerabilities. If we are tired, hungry or with little sleep we are not going to be as effective managing situations as if we were in balance and taking care of ourselves.  
• Surfers learn which waves to ride and which ones to go under and let pass. Problems can be seen as opportunities for growth and expansion, or they can teach us humility and compassion. 
• Surfers get back up if they are thrown off. It's not about setting unattainable expectations and think that we can master every issue but maintaining hope and perseverance.
• Surfers want the big waves because they give them the best chances to go through the tube. Problems that seem big can be excellent opportunities to look within and explore our inner strengths as well as our limiting beliefs. When we go within, we can find that peace surfers experience when they are in the tube.
• Surfers wait patiently and enjoy their communion with nature. We need to take time for ourselves, to recharge our batteries and be around nature.
• Real surfers respect each other and respect the environment. We must do the same, starting with respecting and honoring ourselves, saying no when we mean no and yes when we mean yes. Resting when we are tired and eating when we are hungry. Respecting ourselves and each other.
• Surfers are in the present moment, being aware and trusting their instincts. There is not point on dwelling in the past or worrying about the future that we cannot be changed. The only time is the present and is the best time to be in, experiencing life just as it is, accepting it radically. 

I am grateful for all the simple lessons I learned from a surfer. It made so much sense to me how their approach to the ocean can related to life in general.

Next big wave comes, let's paddle into it and come out saying, "that was some gnarly swell, dude!".

Why should I go to counseling?

Have you ever felt like you need someone to talk to; someone impartial who can understand your point of view and support you? Someone who can give you objective and helpful feedback to help you grow and get unstuck? 

Sure, a friend can do that yet your friend might not be able to be as objective as you need or might side with you just to try to make you feel better. 

Your friend might not know how to give you honest feedback that will help you identify the pattern that keeps you stuck.

A counselor is someone you can talk to without feeling like you have to be careful about what you say. 
A good counselor is someone who won’t judge you or make you feel bad; someone who you don’t have to see everyday or hang out with. 
A counselor is like a webpage you consult for information but is personalized and tailored to your specific issue. 
Sure, you can read a magazine or a blog about people with similar problems and what they did to resolve it but everybody is different and their solution might not work for you. 
The beauty of seeing a counselor is that you can go to him or her for a few sessions until the issue is resolved and not go back until you are facing another challenge or need a “tune-up”.  You can find one in every city and you can choose the one that fits your values and preferences best. 


Can you go through life without a counselor? Sure, a lot of people do. 
Some people’s lives are simpler than others. However, some people prefer to have a guide that can show them the shortcuts, make life easier and more joyful, and coach them through the challenges. 
A counselor can give you perspective and help you see the entire picture. 
Everybody needs a counselor. 
Imagine that you are going through some tough times and can't seem to find your way out. You go see someone that cares for you and who helps you put it all in perspective and shows you how to fix it. Someone who will be there if you need to get a new tool or encounter a roadblock; who really knows you, not the face you show the world but the real you. Someone who will give you tools so you can figure out on your own next time and keep on growing; who is not trying to change you but accepts you for who you are and works with you in making your life happier.


And best of all, a counselor won't tell the world about your fears or insecurities but will create a safe space where you can be yourself.